Watching Hallmark Christmas movies this year on my fancy new smart TV got me thinking. There was a time when I thought that I wanted the big house with the white picket fence and the fancy décor (which is expanded exponentially during Christmas). But, it passed, as all things do, and now, the thought of a big house is just overwhelming. Why would I want massive spaces that need cleaning, not to mention things like the utility costs for powering a large space (heating, air-conditioning, lighting, etc.)? A house that needs maintenance, inside and out, and constant cleaning somehow doesn’t appeal anymore. What does a big house and the American dream really represent? Some idealized version of the ultimate achievement of success? When all is passing and temporary, does a big house really mean anything at all? It certainly doesn’t impress me when I see people with big houses. It tells me that they have nothing better to do with their money, or that they are trying overly hard to impress others. And, now that the birds have flown the nest, I don’t need all the extra space to spread out.
That said, I still decorate for Christmas, because I love the feeling of anticipation and the coming of something more – Jesus, the Christ. Even in the midst of a pandemic, I needed this holiday, because it represents the spirit of hope, joy and anticipation of something more. I remember those, in the past, that would question why I’d decorate when I wasn’t going to be home for Christmas itself, or there wasn’t anyone special coming to see my decor, but they missed the entire point. It’s never been about splashing out for other people to ooh and aah over; it’s always been about the season and what it means to me personally. Setting out a visual reminder of Advent and the lead up to Christmas is a way to get me in the right frame of mind. Even when I traveled at Christmas, I always did ‘something’ to decorate. Yes, some years were less splashy than others, but there has always been a real Christmas tree, an Advent wreath, a poinsettia and other decorations around my place. Even this year, when visiting a garden center to select my tree felt difficult and less social than usual, I went ahead and grabbed a nice 4-foot tree, a swag for my door and a pretty little poinsettia and got out in record time.
These Hallmark style movies with their basic plotlines that imply a woman can’t really find meaning without a man are so demeaning. Many of them seem to start from the premise that women that leave their hometown to go off to the big city to fulfill themselves, ultimately have to come back to that same small town, usually in the south, to find real meaning. It’s both sad and frustrating that it seems to imply that our only real fulfillment is in returning to the nest to hook up with our childhood boyfriend who is clean cut, very fit and muscular, wholesome and good, and may or may not have a child or a dog in tow. In the end, the message seems to be that women can only find ultimate happiness through some good-looking, small town boy, or maybe a European prince that is frustrated with his prospects of marrying an entitled princess, and somehow decides an American woman, who is struggling to make it big, is just the thing for him to find true love. The whole idea seems to be aimed at making women feel that they really can’t be happy without a man, and that they will secure this man during the holidays (meaning Christmas, because that’s what these movies cater to after all). There is no equivalent sentiment attached to Hannukah or any other similar faith-based holiday that I am aware of in the TV movie library of specifically holiday themed shows in the US.
My Christmas this year was designed to be small and based at home. I am fortunate to have two friends from the ‘old neighborhood’ that live nearby and are vigilant about the precautions necessary to avoid COVID. We decided to gather at my house as a bubble and enjoy a smaller version of the usual Christmas spread. So, the four of us (me, two friends and one husband) came together on Christmas Eve to enjoy roast beef and Yorkshire Pudding with all the extras, including chocolate mousse and fancy cheeses. It was the first time I’ve cooked dinner for others in my place in a very long time. I realized as I started going through cupboards that I’ve done a good job of getting rid of ‘stuff,’ including most of my serving dishes and things like silver plated items. There was some dish washing needed between courses to ensure we had sufficient serving dishes as well as something to eat our meal. I also improvised and made the Yorkshire Pudding in my mom’s old cast-iron skillet, because the brownie pan was already being used. While it would have been nice to have all my old crystal, china and silver, it has been over 3 years since I actually had a need for them, so I guess leaving them behind worked out ok in the end.
After my Christmas movie marathon, there were a few of them that I felt warranted a couple viewings over the lead-up to Christmas –
- Love Actually, always a favorite about the various types of love and relationships, not one-sided. I watch this a few times between Advent 1 and Christmas;
- The Holiday, a view of what happens when you get out of your familiar surroundings and redefine relationships, as well as a conclusion where the women aren’t giving up everything for the men;
- Noelle, a small budget film about true forgiveness, faith, love and redemption set in a Cape Cod village that has seen better days. Not a big budget production, but a show with a message about the holiday itself;
- The Spirit of Christmas, a bit more of a traditional Hallmark plot, but with a twist that made it less formulaic than the average Christmas movie;
- Snowbound for Christmas. While this one does follow the usual plot line, it’s actually much more diverse than many of them, so I enjoyed it more than the others. It was also written by a friend of a friend, so came to me as a recommended ‘one to watch’; and last, but not least
- Charlie Brown’s Christmas. While it’s not a movie, it’s still an old favorite that I never grow tired of watching.
All in all, Christmas this year was much quieter and centered around staying home to celebrate. Between watching movies on my new fancy smart TV, buying lots of live-stream Christmas concerts, and participating in several services from Washington National Cathedral, I had many of the familiar activities from the comfort of my own home. Instead of getting all dressed up and venturing into a nearby large city to see performances by my favorite bands or attend The Nutcracker, I watched them on TV. The real benefit this year was that many of them included unlimited views of the shows when you bought a ticket. Therefore, unlike most years, I could watch concerts several times. In the past, I would go into a city to see a show and include things like staying in a hotel overnight and fancy meals out at highly rated restaurants. This year, I could get meals delivered to me at home, but missed the sights and sounds of the city due to COVID spiking and hotels being restricted to essential workers only or closed all together. Going into San Francisco wasn’t an option at all this year but having so many online options made that not as bad as it could have been. And, I even got to listen to Lessons and Carols from King’s College in Cambridge on my BBC App the morning of Christmas Eve as I prepared for cooking most of the day. All in all, not bad for a COVID Christmas.
Hopefully, the new year will bring more opportunities to gather with friends and family, but in the meantime, it’s all about keeping in touch with the meaning of Christmas – a season of great joy, when God showed his love for us by sending Jesus to be with us. While we traditionally celebrate by gathering with family, and that was impossible this year, it does not mean that the celebration of Jesus’ birth carries any less weight or meaning this year, compared to previous years. The manner in which we celebrate this year may have been vastly different than in years’ past, but I hope that the meaning and purpose for this celebration isn’t lost in the general COVID blur – it certainly wasn’t for me.
