One month, a thousand days
Today, March 11, marks one month since everything came to a screeching halt and we were sent home. The COVID19 virus had been named, identified and was rapidly spreading in the US. As I was trying to finish my move to California, the numbers diagnosed and dying were going up everyday and there was more talk at work about whether the US would shut down as China had when it finally admitted there was a problem. The war of words heated up, as Trump kept claiming that it was a hoax by the Democrats and that the regular, seasonal flu was worse – and we didn’t shut the country down due to the flu. He also claimed no one died from the flu, which was ironic when it was revealed that his Grandfather had died from the Spanish Flu. In any case, a looming sense of inevitability was taking shape as politicians and scientists began to argue whether the US should actually do anything at all – the Titanic was approaching the iceberg and it was being treated as some kind of politic issue.
As the case numbers climbed in California and a cruise ship begged to be let into the harbor, the WHO declared it a pandemic. As planned, I flew back to Chicago to oversee the packing up of my apartment. Upon my return, two days later, a notice went out to the entire company that anyone who could work from home should do so immediately – with a 10-day goal to get the entire company working from home. After a short 6 weeks on the job, I was now 100% working remotely. My first day at home, the fire alarm went off three times over the lunch hour – clearly those who rarely cooked were suddenly trying to make lunch (and also didn’t know how to deal with the smoke detectors going off while doing so). A few days later, the Bay Area counties issued a shelter in place order, shutting down San Francisco and the surrounding area. Then, three days later, the Governor decided a county-by-county response wasn’t going to be effective, and, on March 19, shut the whole state down. The debate continued in the political spectrum as States realized that the federal government was completely unprepared, and Trump was unwilling (unable?) to actually take any kind of definitive action. And, so, led by California and New York, the States began considering and issuing shutdowns themselves. Reluctantly, Trump finally declared a national emergency as more and more States asked for the designation so that they could effectively respond to the increasingly rapid spread of the virus and the climbing numbers of deaths. However, he issued confusing and conflicting statements everyday, often contradicting the CDC and leading experts, that didn’t provide for any coherent, coordinated effort to stop the spread of the virus. Many States (mostly with Republican governors) decided to wait it out, and refused to tell their citizens to stay home, so the potential benefit of getting everyone to stay home was less than effective.
During this time, I watched and wondered whether moving house was considered essential. All my belongings, except what I brought on the plane with me or had shipped via UPS were on a truck somewhere between Chicago and Walnut Creek where my new apartment stood waiting and empty. I pondered whether I’d need to extend my stay in the tiny efficiency apartment in Oakland. With panic buying kicking into full swing, I also decided it would be prudent to stock up the freezer with heat and eat items just in case the dire warnings of food shortages were to happen. So, I reluctantly ventured to several different grocery stores trying to get all the ingredients to make things like Tuna Casserole, Lasagna, Bolognese, Chicken Pot Pie and other goodies that were easily portioned out in to single servings and could be frozen. The streets of Oakland became quieter, and the homeless more targeted in soliciting from the few of us that wandered out for fresh air from time to time. The Starbucks next door switched to ‘grab and go’ only, and then finally shut down all together. While I was longing to get out and run, the limited number of people out and about made me more nervous about running in Oakland, and I prayed that my shipment would indeed arrive so I could decamp to a more suburban city. The thought of sheltering in place in Oakland for the foreseeable future was even more tortuous in that tiny apartment in a city where fewer and fewer people were around. The lack of any word from the moving company and uncertainty around what was an essential business didn’t help lessen my worry about the situation.
Thankfully, the truck finally did arrive, as scheduled. The crew was surprised that I was so delighted that they came. I don’t think any of them were aware the craziness that was happening. I suspect that driving across the country, they weren’t listening to the news. While my daughter urged me to just let them unload everything and then leave for a few days to let any potential virus die, I just couldn’t do it. I wanted to do my usual rapid-fire unpacking so that the crew could take as many empty boxes with them as possible. On top of that, I was so desperate to get out of Oakland and be in a relatively safer place, I couldn’t walk away once my things were there. I dutifully washed my hands every time I thought about it, and washed my bedding on the ‘sanitize’ setting for both the washer and the dryer. In the end, I marked the two weeks after the move without any symptoms or evidence that I had the virus, and thanked God that I either didn’t get it, or I had the mildest form I could think of.
As time went on, my work projects began to slow. While the work should still come eventually, everyone now has higher priorities to focus on than buying and/or selling companies. I alternated a smattering of work with unpacking boxes. In less than a week, I had entirely unpacked the apartment and had everything set up. Both a blessing and a curse since once it was done, it was done. I started back to running with gradual increase and discovered a footpath that goes through the middle of town. The town was very quiet and there was little traffic during the days. Rather than run before work, I was now going later in the day when I could fit it in and the weather was better. I took on a 30-day challenge to try to keep up my non-work activities and over the month started to limit my listening to the news to just once a day. I still check the statistics everyday, but don’t feel the need to have a minute-by-minute update, or to read the increasingly negative posts on FaceBook. I stopped watching Trump all together, and tuned into the Governor’s briefings as I have time.
By the end of March everything was shut and theater performances I had purchased started cancelling. In the end, the Shakespeare Theater in a nearby town cancelled their entire season (even the fall shows). Little by little other things cancelled too. I had notices from both hotels for my Memorial Day weekend trip to Victoria BC send out emails that they were closed until June (even though no end date has truly been established to shelter in place). Then, the Ferry called me to discuss a change in sailing times. I explained that I wanted to reschedule, but instead, they just refunded my tickets since no one really knows when this will end. And, my first long weekend holiday for the year was summarily off. So far, the wedding in Montreal is still on for August, and I’m hopeful that will happen since it may be the first vacation post-pandemic. The trip to Israel in October is being reconsidered. Everything is up in the air now – when we’ll go back to work, whether any concerts or other events will happen this summer, and how we will slow the spread of this virus if people don’t stay away from each other.
The response is disjointed and inconsistent both nationally and locally. When I go out for my daily run, I see people wearing masks, but an equal or greater number that aren’t wearing them. Since I got rid of my Mom’s sewing machine before moving to the UK, I had to order some homemade masks on Etsy. They aren’t ideal, but better than nothing at all. I can’t run with a mask (too suffocating), so I only wear them when out walking or at the grocery store. I’m finding that they cause my glasses to fog up, so when I wear one walking, I end up taking off my glasses. That’s not so bad if I’m out walking for exercise, but a real pain in the grocery store where I have to either pick things up to look at them closely or lean very close to the shelf to read the labels. Knowing that picking things up is a bad idea for trying to minimize spread, I find myself squinting at the shelf trying to see what I’m buying.
A couple weeks before Easter, I went out to stock up the liquor cabinet. I felt guilty about this, and was debating whether this was truly an essential trip. The liquor stores are open, and I know that any stores open nowadays need people to continue spending money, so I went ahead and did it. After picking up my online order, I made my way to the grocery store for a few things. They had their full Easter order – candy, flowers, Easter Lilies – it made me realize that I would feel better actually celebrating Easter. So, I grabbed a lily and found some lamb chops. Even if I’m going to be alone, I may as well have some kind of a normal Easter dinner. Driving around though, I noticed a lot of people out walking on a sunny spring day. It felt somewhat like the Twilight Zone as I worried about whether I should even be out of my apartment, and I watched people going about their day as if nothing was happening. There are those treating this like some kind of school holiday, and ignoring the fact that we shouldn’t be gathering outside of our immediately household. On one walk, I saw three teenage girls running together and chatting away as if it was any other Saturday in the spring. A group of 5 boys riding their bikes in a pack also passed me – clearly not quintuplets, I wondered if they didn’t know, or didn’t care that this virus can hurt them, or someone they love.
My first week in the apartment, I went for a walk at lunch and discovered a handful of restaurants are open for takeaway or delivery. I decided that I should support them as well, so I started up a Wednesday lunch out. I pick a different restaurant each week, and have my lunch delivered. Given that portions are so big here, I end up with at least two or three meals out of it, so I’m not wasting anything and I’m still eating out less than I would in a normal world. After stocking up so much, my grocery store runs are quite small now, so I just walk to the Trader Joe’s and grab the few things that I need. Ava is not getting out much at all, and when I do drive somewhere, it feels strange to be out on the road. While the State has threatened to stop people who are driving, to make sure they’re out on essential business, it hasn’t happened yet. Of course, I never got a chance to move my registration or get my California Driver’s License, so I also feel self-conscious driving with my Illinois plates and license. By the time I got to Walnut Creek and decided to check whether the DMV was considered essential, they had shut down their on-site services. So, I’ll be well over my 10-day limit of living in California before I get either my plates or my new driver’s license.
Given my move and the fact it started while I was in the temporary housing, I hadn’t really done anything about observing Lent this year. However, I guess the whole pandemic is a form of ‘extreme Lent’ for all of us. We’re certainly fasting from normal life – work, going out, theater and the arts, social gatherings, dining out, seeing family in person. Church has gone to online as well. Since I had decided to wait on church shopping until I was in the new apartment, it meant that I hadn’t actually found a new church home before everything shut down. Rather than attend online services with the churches here, I’ve been ‘attending’ the National Cathedral in Washington, DC. They actually have a handful of people going into the Cathedral to do services. It’s beautiful to be able to see and hear the service, but I’m sure it’s strange for them to be conducting a service where the Cathedral is virtually empty. I also did a series of Morning Prayer services online with a church in NYC. Given that they’re 3 hours ahead of me, it meant that I would wake up and watch it before starting my day. The ability to do services online means that I’m actually ‘going’ to more services than I would normally do, so I guess I’ve effectively taken on listening to God’s holy word in the scriptures for Lent.
The family has been gathering for Sunday afternoon Zoom calls the past few weeks, and that’s been a welcome addition to my routine. Seeing everyone and hearing about how things are going has helped up to keep connected in a way we haven’t done before. Seeing people online and talking to them has been a great help given that I don’t know anyone here, and beyond a ‘good morning’ to those I pass on the street, I don’t have regular interaction with people face to face. I commented on a FaceBook post on the introverts page that as an introvert, I am fully recharged now and I definitely don’t need any more ‘alone’ time before getting together with people socially. Though I guess it’s a good thing that I am introverted, given the situation here now. I passed my 30th year as a mother on the 10th and have also observed Holy Week in a more intense way than ever before.
The second month in lockdown begins on Easter. The idea of celebrating Easter without the family (physically) or a big church celebration seems difficult to comprehend. Also, the fact that we still have no date for this to end, or what ending it actually means, is hard to imagine. We can’t just pick up where we left off, and it’s unlikely that we’ll just flip a switch and everyone will go back to work. It’s at least another month, and probably longer for this extreme Lenten journey.
