Since the ending of my last position and my involuntary transition from the UK to the US in July 2018, there have been many endings – both personally and professionally. While traumatic, there has also been a sense of healing and recovery during the past 18 months in Chicagoland.
I had originally felt a need to go to Chicago, but was waylaid and ended up in Deerfield (a suburb about 30 miles north of the city). While not where I meant to go, it wasn’t all bad. I met new friends at my church and reintegrated into the US. There were lovely conservation lands for walking and running, as well as the Chicago Botanic Gardens where I could go and wander through the beautiful peaceful landscapes. I started to rebuild my professional network and get socially involved in the area. At least one weekend a month, I went into the city, or traveled domestically. I started to plan out monthly goals to ensure that I got out and began my new chapter in the best possible way. I found myself feeling withdrawals from the international scene as my travels ended up being limited to domestic trips, and I struggled with the insular focus within the US.
Part of my reintegration was to set running goals and begin entering destination races. My plans were delayed when I injured my knee in June 2019. Coming back from the injury was a particularly difficult time as my normal stress release method was now cut off from me, and I couldn’t do my usual practice of praying while running. My busy social life was overshadowed by a sense of being in limbo. There were distractions, but a deep sense of loss and feeling cut off.
I slowly recovered and pushed forward with my original desire to live in the city. I also traveled to hike in two national parks (the Georgia end of the Appalachians and the Great Smoky Mountains). Late summer, I found the perfect place to live in the South Loop of Chicago. While I was finally in the right place, I was forced to recognize that the job opportunities that would get me back to the kind of work I love just weren’t going to be in Chicago. I also realized that consulting isn’t for me. It took some time to come to terms with the idea that the Chicago chapter wasn’t meant to be long term. I struggled with the fact that I’d wanted to live here since my first business trip in 1992, I was now living in the perfect place, but the reality that the type of position I needed to continue on my career path and vocational pursuits simply wasn’t going to be in Chicago. Finally, a professional connection pointed out that I have no compelling reason to stay. My family isn’t here, I don’t own property, my parents are gone. All the normal ties that prevent people from moving don’t exist for me. Another friend pointed out that I can always travel to visit Chicago whenever I wanted to get a dose of the city. So, reluctantly, I started to think of ‘where next?’
As I awaited the arrival of my grandson, I decided I’d go ahead and pursue options outside Chicago. I chose to wait until after his birth since I wanted to leverage the flexibility my consulting gig gave me, and spend the first two weeks of his life with him. It was important to me to help my daughter and son in law, mostly because I didn’t feel that my mother had really helped me at that critical point in my life. I also saw how much being in Chicago during this dark night of my life was exactly what I needed to release the past and embrace the next chapter of my life. I intentionally celebrated my time in the city, savoring the energy and vibe, making new friends and exploring the theater, concerts, restaurants and spiritual experiences through my new church home at St. James Cathedral as well as other opportunities.
As I expected, once I actively started my search, I immediately got interest from companies. Any worry that I had about landing (due to disappointments over the past year of intermittent looking) went away. While I had pursued opportunities over the past year, I seemed to always be the second choice. I vaguely wondered whether the skills and experience I had were really that great or unique in the market. On the one hand, I wanted out of consulting, but on the other, I needed to be there for my daughter. I felt pulled in two directions – waiting for the right time, but worried I may not find the right position. However, as with most things, I found that my desire to be in the consulting role through the end of 2019 was the perfect situation for me. While I was bored and often wondered why I was still doing it, it was truly the ideal arrangement to ensure that I could fly off at a moment’s notice and take care of my family. I had the best possible situation – the consulting paid my bills, and I could use the flexibility to take care of my family, travel, and being socially engaged in my new city.
Upon my return from Grandma duty, I started to think about how best to approach a full-on job search. I joined a networking group for execs (CEOs, CFOs and CHROs) soon after my move to the area, but didn’t really take up any of their recommendations for finding my next role. I went to meetings and had my monthly lunches with the Professional Women’s Club of Chicago, but wasn’t really working at finding a new position. While LinkedIn, or any other online job posting sites, is not generally seen as really effective when you’re looking for a new job, I set up my profile to say I was interested in new opportunities, and activated some job search tools to get email alerts about potential roles. I didn’t really have a destination in mind, basically anywhere in the US, with a company that had international reach so that I could potentially travel abroad again and maybe even move overseas at some point.
As I continued to think about what I needed to do in order to truly launch my job search, I received a message from an executive recruiter about a position in California that looked intriguing. Strangely, it wasn’t within my main criteria – it was not global, but still, there was something about the role that piqued my interest. It was with Blue Shield of California – a completely different industry than I’d ever worked in, very much US-based, but with an incredible vision focused on fixing the US healthcare system. In addition to sounding quite interesting, it turned out that I had worked with the hiring manager before when I had a brief stint at Becton Dickinson just before starting with JM. The position is based in Oakland, California, and would mean a move to the West Coast – even further West than I had originally planned. California hadn’t been in my plans, given the cost of living and the lack of immediate family on the West Coast, but the position sounded so interesting, and the team I’d be working with are such a great fit that I simply can’t pass it up.
As with many previous major changes, I looked for whether I was being called to take this opportunity. It was a turn in a direction I hadn’t anticipated, so I wanted to be sure it was right. The boxes were all checked – 1) the job itself is intriguing and balances applying my previous experience, and my thirst for constant learning, 2) they met the high end of the compensation I was targeting, 3) their relocation policy already includes shipping a car (my baby, Ava can’t handle a cross-country road trip), 4) while they wanted me to start in January, they agreed to wait until February, 5) there would be no conflict with a planned sisters’ get-away weekend in Grand Cayman at the end of January, 6) traveling for my half marathon in March will only mean a drive and not a flight or adjustment to the time zone, 7) Southwest Airlines has direct flights from Oakland to Houston, and on and on. Clearly, it’s meant to be, so I took a deep breath and accepted the position.
I will miss my new friends in Chicago – the concerts, happy hours and social scene here. When I first moved here, someone asked me, ‘how long are you here?’ and I said, ‘as long as I’m here. . .’ Even then, I knew that Chicago wasn’t permanent. Of course, I didn’t know it was only for 18 months, but given everything that’s happened, I can think of no better place to land and get your feet underneath you.
So, after a somewhat dark period, I’m off to see the lights of San Francisco. Here’s to the next chapter!
